The young woman pushed her left breast aside and opened the chest cavity of her own body. Nothing but pressure was felt as she sawed slowly through her skin with a steak knife. Once through the walls of her chest, body heat started emanating while blood began to pool, as she slowly withdrew her heart. Still connected to the veins in her body, she examined it closely and notice two decent sized dents right below the partially healed crack to the left of her third ventricle. She inserted the tip of her pencil to see just how deep the slice was, and upon applying some pressure, she felt a shock of pain rush to her brain, providing imagines of sorry and loss. Immediately, she withdrew, wiped her tears, and sat back.
“Catch your breath”, she shallowly said to herself and she reached for the tape on her side table. With her heart in her left hand, she took the tape in her right and finagled a piece free from the dispenser roll. The piece of tape was long enough to cover seal up the crack in her heart, but would it stay?
Intricately, she wrapped her chubby fingers around her heart and applied the tape over the crease that cause such pain. Forcing the heart together caused tension in her chest and it appeared that the blood started flowing through her body sped up. She stuffed her heart back into her chest, applying a few staples for security, and sealed the opening in her chest cavity with wood glue.
She woke up covered in wood glue and mascara streaked down her cheeks.
A Fresh Start
Today, at work, I decided to delete the posts from my past. At the age of 25, I need to move on from the death of my mother and the betrayal of the man I thought I loved. Re-reading what I deleted proved just how unhappy I was and how little trust I instilled in people.
From here on out, I am working on my own happiness. I deserve the opportunity to explore what truly makes me happy and find a love that is on my “life level”. I want a partner, a man who will stand by me (and I him). I want mutual support, mutual love.
I should probably get back to work.
Oh, pretty girl, you have trapped
yourself in the wrong body.Twenty
extra pounds hang like a lumpy
tapestry on your perfect mammal nature.
Three months ago you were like a
deer staring at the first winter snow.
Now Aphrodite thumbs her nose at you
and tells stories behind your back.
Diane Arbus.
Somedays she is the only one who can make me smile.
